Close Encounters of a stuttering Kind...

Friday, June 27, 2003

so. today i finally spoke to the ohh so hot neighbor for the first time. was i smooth? was i cool? was i looking good? that'd be a resounding "hell no" on all counts. dammit. twin A walked over to look at the compressor unit for our air conditioner which is just outside our back door, which happens to be about two feet from their driveway...dude was washing his stunning Harley--and looking damn near stunning himself--and since i was standing about 3.4 feet away from him i couldn't avoid saying something. WHY didn't i say something cool about the bike? i was thinking it, honestly i was, but as he smiled at me in a "hello neighbor" fashion and i smiled back in a "hello neighbor who i find hunky but will pretend not to" fashion, the words which erupted from my vile mouth were, "he's obsessed with the fan...anything that opens and closes, and anything that spins--they just love it." gaaaaaawd. i guess it's probably because for as hot as i think he is, i have no desire to flirt or even pseudo-flirt. and that's a good thing, but jeeeeez. why couldn't i have at least said something that made sense?????? and the thing about the bike, i mean, it was right there, sparkling in the sunshine-- even someone who's not given to fainting spells upon the mere sight of such a glorious machine would have said, "wow, what a beautiful bike!" or some such dribble--and furthermore, could have without sounding flirty or silly or lame...sigh. instead of looking at that as a missed opportunity, i think i'll look at it as a saved marriage. har har!! awww, who knows, maybe he's smitten with socially handicapped housewives....

Also, i'm proud of myself for finally (after 6 frigging months!!) realizing that i could put my counter on the border instead of in the blog text and cutting and pasting it into a new post every couple of days so it would stay visible. I am once again reminded of just how computer illiterate I am. Sometimes i get all puffed up and feeling like queen shit on computer island because i know more about computers than your average 60 year old....but then I do stupid shit like that and I am brought soundly back to earth with the quiet hissing of my deflating ego......oh well. i'm a dessert girl and i can't say no to a slice of pie--even if it's humble pie.