Fake Memories

span style="font-family:Verdana;">This is the compilation of all the wonderful memories that people created for me, when asked.  Here is the original post.  I have included links to those who left them, and tried to update them as well as I could, but I’m sure some are still missing.  If you’re on here, and your link is wrong or missing, let me know.  This remains one of my favorite days of all the blogging I’ve done!  


You mean like the time in Vancouver when we got drunk and ended up in the town's only 4 star hoosegow?Gotta admit it, I never would have thought you had a left hook that vicious.And our mermaid tattoos? Where's she's holding a chicken and a midget under each arm? Who'd have figured that guy with the rusty needles would have charged only fifty bucks.My ass is still sore, how about yours?

Dick

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Oh man, so many memories, where to start...remember when we drove down to Fort Worth on a dare. You broke into the Mazda Miata and stole the stereo. You're hand was so bloody. But the pancakes at the IHOP were good. Remember? The waitress got all pissed off when you bled on the bill. If she hadn't complained so much, we might have tipped her. At least the stereo got us $50 when we fenced it to the Irish kid. Man, I was so drunk.

Patrick D.

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I know we haven't talked in years, but you'll probably remember me when I say the word "blue grapes." LOL Man that whole night was so friggin' surreal. That guy had no idea we could do that without a razor blade or anything. I think the though of two of us girls doing it just drove his inhibitions to the wind.Or that time in Pittsburg? When we got off the train at the wrong stop and ended up washing dishes at Emeril's restaurant to pay for dinner? God we were so hungry. I wonder how Tracy got out of that one. We probably shouldn't have left her there in that skimpy outfit.Anyway, let's get together again and see if we can find some more "blue grapes."

Kara  

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Dear Lisa,Please return my large cast iron skillet, jumper cables, and nipple clamps.I recieved a call from Dave yesterday, who told me that he stumbled over them in your garage last Wednesday, while helping you set up for the Garage Sale.I'm not sure how they ended up at your place, but we were all pretty out of it that night after "evening service".I still have glitter in places I didn't even know were places...By the way... I had Phil run that license plate from the car wash on Friday. You were right. It belongs to the guy who works down at Lawry's. I didn't even recognize it. Of course, I was ducking most of the time, just in case John saw us when we drove by. Man, I'm sure he was pissed. That was a HUGE amount of toilet paper! LOL!!Anyway, you can hang onto the skillet if you need it, but I need those cables and clamps back before Saturday. Monet and Erica are coming over, and you know how they love their "science projects". ROTFLMAO!!!Do you still have freezer burn??!?! LOL!!Gotta run. I'll catch up with you at the track on Friday. Remember: Always bet on "black"! ROTFL!!Hugs,Chris

Chris

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Oh Lisa I remember last night when I went down on your TOBOGGAN and as I held on to you tightly in front of me I yelled how slippery and slick your TOBOGGAN was. You and I went faster and faster and the ride got rougher and rougher and I could feel the end coming soon. I yelled loudly as the climax was at its peak and I yelled. WHAT A GREAT TOBOGGAN RIDE !!!Betcha thought it was gonna be dirty huh ?

Shawn

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3rd grade, I sat behind you in Mrs. Templeton's class. It was Valentines Day and every boy got a card...well, every boy except me. During the exchange of the cards, you looked across the classroom and our eyes met. Mine filled to the brim with tears and yours filled with sympathy. I sat there and watched you tear up every card that was made for you. You walked to Mrs. Templeton's desk and borrowed her tape. I turned my eyes away from you and stared at my desk. I didn't want you to see me cry. A few moments later, your hand grabbed my left shoulder and almost made me fall out of my chair (what a terrific addition to the day that would have been). I looked up at you as a tear slithered its way down my cheek. With one hand you wiped away my tear and the other you handed me the most beautiful bouquet of flowers I've ever seen. They smelled of paper, but were full of love. The tape you used must have been magic because it's still as beautiful today as it was the day you gave it to me.Thank you.

JoJo

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Don't tell you have forgoten that night in Cleveland! I remember how suprised we were when we found that back-alley cock fight. I didn't think they had those north of the Mason-Dixon line. Oh and that half bottle of hooch we got from that guy, uh..Carl, I think, and you gave him your jacket for it. We got so sick off that and you thought it was because part of the contents was Carl. The best was when that dick at McDonalds wouldn't let us order from the drive-thru because we weren't in a car, so we torched his trashcan out front. I just knew those cops were going to see us hiding in that bush after we bolted from that convience store. I told you you had too much in your shirt! I couldn't believe I lost you in that park, I didn't know how to explain if you didn't make it back. By the way, don't ask how I got home. It's not something I want to remember.

Jeremy

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I will always remember that scorching July day in Tulsa, when we saw a group of girl scouts being held hostage at a mini golf course by a berzerk clown suffering from heat exhaustion- you were lightning quick in remembering that old carnival(remember THAT summer as well ?) adage: "Throw it in the air, and the clowns will juggle it.", and you threw a hairbrush, a tire iron, and a watermelon at the clown, and as he started to juggle them, you and I turned the fire hose on him...He died almost instantly...We each got a special "Clown Killer" patch from the Girl Scout troop, remember ? It has a likeness of Bozo with X's over his eyes...Good Times...

paticus

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We went skiing and you totally kicked my ass on black diamonds. So, I was trying to talk you into doing something so I could even the score. I'm not hyper-competitive (well yes I am) but I wanted to something where I could look good. So we went boating and I was horsing around and fell off and almost got run over by the propellers. So you jumped in and saved me I was forever indebted to you.

Midwestern City Boy  

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Remember that time we were traveling through the desert and those storm troopers stopped us and you just waved your hand, real casual-like, and said "These are not the droids you're looking for" and then they let us pass? But the thing is, they WERE the droids they were looking for, they just didn't realise it. That was some impressive shit.

D-man  
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Ah, but you asked me to do this last time we met. Keep in touch you said; let me know if it was good for you, you said. Yeah right. It was good while it lasted. A Brit in the U.S. being taken to places only before seen in movies; taken to places only imagined in my sexually frustrated daydreams. i got news. I'm over you now; even though you were good -no -damn good, i'm so over you. I am left though with she scars but i've seen a Doctor about them and she says she can laser them out. No way will I give you the pleasure of knowing you hurt me.D'oh.

Delbut

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Remember that time in Salt Lake City you and I snuck into the back row or the Mormon Tabernacle Choir under the overhead mics and we burped out the words to some dirge they were singing? Too bad they caught us before we got to to farting out the chorus.

Bud

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Remember that one September when you still lived in Maine and I visted to see the fall leaves and we walked hand in hand through the forest? And then we saw a bear...and we started to run and run and run and then we fell and rolled around in the leaves and all of a sudden we kissed...and then we were uncomfortable since that was the first time either of us had kissed a girl and then we just giggled and ran out of the woods and then never spoke of it again. I was wearing a purple sweater...and you weren't wearing a bra. And you said you just recently invented Braless Tuesday...ha!

Itchy

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how could i forget!.....i needed a cigarette afterwards and i don't even smoke! But then you said you faked everything and i've been in therapy ever since.

JohnnyK

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I don't have to ask you if you remember ... I'm sure your ass is still sore from that 6 hour ride we took a week ago. Mine is, and I ride every day!!! But I have to admit, you were a real trooper, especially when that covey of quail flew up right at your horse's feet and he threw you into that briar thicket!! I didn't think I'd ever catch that damned gelding -- and he's usually bomb-proof! Sorry, honey; maybe the next time you head out to NC for a horseback trip in these gorgeous mountains we won't end up all scratched to pieces and saddle sore!!

Rhia

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You know, I would have forgotten all about that if you wouldn't have brought it up. Thanks Lisa, like you didn't realize exactly how much therapy it took to shake that weekend from my brain. I still have know idea how we got on that boat, and if the machine guns weren't enough, you said, "Come on don't you want to live a little?". You were right though, you haven't lived until you are wearing grass skirts and dancing for your next meal not knowing what island you are on. Who knew it was illegal to auction off capuchin monkeys? Anyway, now we now if some offers us home brewed Absinthe we will say, "Fuck Off", politely.

TiffaneyC.

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'Mmember that time we got into a fist fight with 311?

Maine

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It is funny how in a room full of people someone special seems to stand out. Maybe it was that zone of silence, you just sitting and reading a paperback while all around the afternoon caffeine hounds were chattering away about their day. I turned my head a bit more to look at you with both eyes. I admit that I was checking you out. The dark curly hair falling around a beautiful face, the striped shirt that caressed your full breasts, and the jeans that accentuated your long legs.You would not remember that time, or me, but as I waited for my latte to be made you looked up and we made eye contact.There is that one moment in meeting someone when you look into their eyes for the first time. On occasion, that moment can last for minutes or even hours. That moment happened here. I felt a vortex of passion pulling me into your soul. A spark of that thing we call love began to tickle my inner brain. I think we exchanged a soft smile, appreciating each others acceptance.My name was called, and I turned to get my coffee. I made up my mind to walk over and introduce myself, something I normally would not do. When I turned back, you were outside and talking with a man… your husband… with children in tow. I smiled to myself seeing how happy you were.As I said, you would not remember, but I’ll always have that moment, and we’ll always have Starbucks

Big Don

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I remember the summer of '97 when we rode our motorcycles across Europe. The real absinthe we drank in Prague left a bitter taste in our mouths as we hallucinated in Wenceslas Square. In the south of France, of course, we picnicked on wine, cheese, and bread at the topless beach and flirted with deeply tanned French boys with smoldering eyes. Then there was the artists colony in Tuscany—falling asleep in the sun while they sketched and dabbed at their canvases, immortalizing our tangled limbs

Orange

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The moon had just risen, sending pale fingers of light streaming through the trees and into the room our bodies occupied. Nestled in front of a fire our legs intertwine to shake off the cold of the hike through the northern woods. No creature nor person disturbed our walk hand in hand through the snowy landscape of our retreat. Now, no creature or person can touch us, we are alone in a silent reverie, only disturbed by the occasional pop of steam escaping from the burning logs. Our eyes meet. Thoughts are driven away replaced by passion. "Your move," I whisper. "Oh it is?" you feign ignorance, "Well in that case king me!" I look down you indeed have jumped to the king row and things are not looking so good in this game of checkers for me.

Daniel Ribar

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I am glad that I finally located you as I have important news. Remember the time a few years ago we hitchhiked to the Moody Blues concert in Buffalo, and two older college guys picked us up? We pretended we were college students at NYU and you even faked a great accent! We thought they were gay, but proved otherwise... hee, hee, hee. What a night, huh! Well, I ran into one of the guys last week. Literally. I rear-ended him in traffic due to the sudden snow storm. As we talked insurance crap, he kept looking at me like he was wondering if he knew me. He looked vaguely familiar too, but was very gaunt and pale. He said, "Hey, aren't you from NYC?" And it came and smacked me in the face where we had met! I replied, "Oh yeah!" We reminisced a bit and I made up more shit about my life since then, figuring I would never see him after this. He then got a serious look and asked about the girl I was with that night. Seems you two had a really good time, if you know what I mean. He wondered if I was still in contact with you, and I made up some more stuff about you being married and having eight children and starting your own religion etc. And that I hadn't talked to you in awhile, the only bit of truth.His eyes started watering as he asked if I could get a message to you. It seems he was gay after all and has AIDS and is trying to contact anyone he has been intimate with. I'm sorry to be the bearer of such news, but PLEASE go to the doctor and get tested immediately. I am here for you and praying that all turns out okay.

Sandra  

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Dear Lisa,It's me, your sister from Michigan. I know that the amnesia and difficulties with short-term memory have not improved since the accident, but BELIEVE ME, its me Andy. Just as I promised you the day we got the news about your condition, here is my daily apology for causing you so much pain: Lisa, I'm sorry that I pulled your cat's tail, which caused her to run and be chased by mom dog that was attached to the leash that happened to be around your wrist. And when you were pulled in front of that ice cream truck, I didn't mean to bawk at pushing you out of the way; I was simply having a Rocky Road attack and couldn't take my eyes off the ice cream bar cartoons on the side of the van. And as you lay in a pile of drumsticks, fudgesicles, and wafflecones, I am sorry that I ate two of them before pulling you out of the wreckage. If I'd only done it a few moments sooner, perhaps you would not have had irrevocable freezie brain and would remember that tragic day, this apology, and who I am to you. Until tomorrow, I am your ever loving sister, Andy

Andy

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I was just thinking about the time you and I took off for Nashville to see Keith play with LeAnn Womack. Being backstage at the opry was cool. Why did that guy from Lonestar think he knew you? And why did you keep denying you'd ever met him and then giggling? Gurl you have got to share that story.Didn't we have fun when Vince Gill heard us singing backstage and put us in his backup singers for his last song? You got a country thang going fer sure. Giddy yap.I lost you at the Maverick though. I don't know who that tall cowboy you were dancing with was, what his story was, or how you ended the evening...but you sure looked ravished and satisfied the next morning. Too bad you don't kiss and tell.

Speckled pup

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Like when you and I went to that Chippendales show and you lost your wedding ring down that one dancers boxer briefs. That was freaking hilarious!! I dont think I'll ever forget the look on your face after you realized what had happened, and the guy had alrerady left! Man you were ticked! Remember we ended up at some biker bar cause you were determined we were NOT goin home til we found him and your ring, and we knew he was on his way there. Do you remember those 2 guys shooting pool? OMG they were hot, they kept buying us drinks all night and you kept bending over real slow, showing them peeks of your boobs. heheThen we see the dancer walk in and you go running up to him and he grinning from ear to ear, reaches into his pocket and pulls out your ring. You kissed him dead on the lips in thanks! After that it starts to become blurry, but, I remember him shooing away the guys we were playing pool with and he played with us instead. He had the most beautiful ass I had ever seen and you couldnt take your eyes off his shoulders. Kept looking at me, looking at them, biting your lip. LMAO! Id love to remind you what happened after we left but, Ive erased the ending from my mind, cause we both know, what happens in biker bars, STAYS in biker bars..lol (image placeholder)

Muse

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It was your last Vegas trip … our eyes connected from across the bar, I could feel the desire like laser beams burning through me. There was a crowd but we managed to work our way towards each other. Finally, we were standing there, close enough to touch, but not. We were enjoying the sensual energy that was flowing all around us, so thick we could barley move. So thick it gripped us. Ever so slowly our hands met, it was electric, instantly running through our bodies. You could see we were both stimulated, wanting to caress more, but wanting to savor the delicious energy. You every so lightly brushed up against me to let me feel your excitement. Oh that felt sooo good. As I was about to return the favor, your girlfriend came and swept you away, my heart sank. I have searched and found you again, here in blogland. Every Tuesday, I get to relive my memory of you.

QuaziRob

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I still remember that night at the Cowboy Boogie (now just called the Boogie) in Orange County and we drank tequila and beer and did blow job shots from between all the cowboys legs, singing "Family Tradition" and "Friends in Low Places." What a great night!!! I am still ashamed to show my face there- the head bartender, the doorman, and one of the cocktail waitresses still remember us!!!

Julie F.

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Remember that time last summer when I thought you were supposed to be watching my kids while I went to my therapy appointment, and because I was late and you always say, "Just come on in, don't knock, you dork", I just opened the door and tossed my kids inside because this was the appointment where I was going to discover why most people call me "dork" and I was feeling sensitive...Meanwhile, you thought I was supposed to be watching YOUR kids while you were taking your sushi-rolling class at the Jewish Community Center, and same thing, you tossed your boys into my house because you heard the TV on and thought it was me on the phone because I sound so much like Oprah...And how my kids ate your liptsick and stuck maxi-pads all over your bathroom wall, and your kids now won't eat beef anymore and weep whenever they see Tom Cruise?o.m.g.It was like a Three's Company episode, the one where you find out that Chrissy's real name is Christmas, and no one can believe it?Playdate next week?

Jozet

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There was the time we stayed up late drinking. It was shortly after the birth of the twins. Everyone else was asleep, but we were still wide awake, drinking from the intoxicating conversation more than the rum and cokes as the evening wore on.The rest of the evening is kind of a blur. I'd describe it in more detail, but R-rated it ain't.And yes, in it you are my personal fuck toy. That's what makes fiction so much fun.

Thomas

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Remember, one night in Bangkok, how you were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, when I met you? “Don’t forget to dance,” you said, so we did the safety dance, and the curly shuffle, until this weird Japanese vibrator salesman started hitting on you, and the next thing I knew, you were stumbling out of the back room saying, “Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto,” and then you got all moody and yelled, “I’m livin’ in a powder keg and givin’ off sparks!” and I knew you must have been delirious, because you were all hot blooded after that smooth operator worked his magic on your sweetest taboo. And when you disappeared, I sailed away to China in a little rowboat to find you, and all you could say was that you had to get your laundry clean.Boy, that was a cruel summer

Nancy Dancehall

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It was just before your second novel was published, the good one, the real one, your actual voice, not the fake first one, the one you thought was your voice, but now reads trite. I was the guy in old jeans with the black felt tip pen asking you to sign it for my mother who was suffering from liver failure. You asked if it was from drinking. I said "Yeah, two bottles of homemade white wine and a dry gin martini a day"You said you hated gin. I believed you.J.

Jason  

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We went to a bar and some jackass was all over me, you shot him in the parking lot. We spent a few weeks running from the law until they caught up with us and we drove off a cliff.So, Louise, can you believe we made it?


Sunny

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You remember that time in highschool when we went to the BYU campus around midnight and drew body outlines in nasty positions with bars of soap all over the sidewalks?Yeah, that was cool.

Becky  

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I was just wondering if I can havehalf of the guitar Pete Townshendkicked into the front row seats thatwe were in? He smashed that Gibsonin two and I would love you foreverif you can just feel for me the painI go through each and everyday thatI don't have a piece of that guitar!If I weren't so drunk that not andyou weren't so seductive and feelingme all over,I wouldn't of let you depart with half of it anyway! Sothere! :O)

Mike  

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I think actually its gotta be the time we first met. You were dropping the kids off at school - I was on my first day at work, a part-time Classics teacher wondering where the hell the front door was. I never was so grateful that someone worked out I needed a shove in the right direction. Thanks once again.

Dantares

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I remember not too long ago you were swinging through Dallas on your way to somewhere in Florida. Not sure exactly what you were doing but if memory serves me (which it usually doesn't), you had some hot young Cuban waiting for you at a hotel on the beach. Anyway, you got stuck in Dallas with a busted transmission and ended up sucking down greasy food and bad coffee at the Waffle House. I know, all great nights either start or end at the Waffle House. So, we ran into each other picking out songs on the Waffle House jukebox and decided to head down to a local bar called the Electric Cowboy. It ended up being more like Brokedown Cowboy because all the guys in there were either in some kind of cast or at least 60. One good thing about old cowboys though.....they love to buy drinks for hot young women like us. So we drank and danced the night away. I got pretty good at the electric slide by the time the night was over, and woke up the next morning in...you guessed it booth 12 at the Waffle House. Man, those were good times. Hope every thing worked out for you and your Cuban friend or whatever you had going on in Florida. If you ever get stuck in Dallas again, you know where to find me....

Rhinestones & rubies

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I'll never forget the time you called me up last minute and told me to meet you in Vegas because you just had to get your gambling fix for the weekend. We stayed up all weekend and ended up getting arrested for public nudity. Good times.

Pfalzer

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Thank you so much for our coffee date the other day. We really needed to catch up on old times. Can you believe it's been 12 years! Anyway, gotta run but I can't wait to see you and the fam for our Holiday Tradition night! Don't forget the wine like you did last year, I don't think we can do two years in a row sober.

Andrea  

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Remember that time we cut classes and headed to the beach for some sun 'n' fun? Dang, girl, you looked good in a two-piece bikini! (I still have boob envy in my little A cups...) Boogie boarding was SO much fun and, well, as for what happened later with those surfer dudes...well, let's just say I'm still getting sand out of that old suit!

My two cents

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I never knew for sure if you even remembered that night, Lisa. I was coming home to you at the end of a long day. You had tried to wait up for me, but you had put in an exhausting day yourself and knew you might not be able to keep your eyes open until I got there. So, somewhat reluctantly, you went ahead and drew a nice hot bath for yourself rather than waiting for me to arrive and ask you to join me in the shower. You love soaking in a fragrant bubble bath and, with the Jacuzzi tub, can create some amazing, luxurious bubbles with which to pamper yourself – and that's exactly what you did on this occasion. It felt SO good to let the warm water work it's magical powers on your tired, sore muscles, made more so by the stress of going to school and caring for the kids. Of course, cavorting with me in the shower would have had its advantages as well, but I wasn't there (again!) and you were tired of waiting. You were thinking of me, however, and the last time we had the opportunity to spend a whole evening just catering to each other -- including a long bath in the tub, soaping each other's body, sipping wine, relaxing in each other's arms while watching the glow of the candles strategically placed around the rim of the tub... and making love afterward,long, slow, sensual love that left us drained of both passion and energy and sleeping soundly in each other's arms. As your soapy hands glided over your slippery body, you awakened those same feelings of desire and passion. Almost instinctively your hands stroked your breasts, fondling the nipples and arousing you even more. Without realizing it at first, one of your hands started making its way down the taut expanse of your abs, toward your waist, and below. Fingers stroking, probing, arousing... then you caught yourself –- coming out of your sexual haze almost with a start! No, you didn't want to finish that way! You wanted to save that for us, for me to enjoy with you! And so, you climbed out of the tub, dried off with a big, fluffy, warm towel straight out of the dryer, and slipped into a sexy, satin nightgown. While you usually preferred to wear nothing at all to bed, on this occasion you decided you wanted the feel of a nice satin gown next to your skin, especially if you were going to be going to bed alone since I STILL wasn't home yet!You tried reading for a while, thinking that you might be able to wait up for me if you got into a really good book. Unfortunately, the book was not all that exciting, you were incredibly tired, and the warm bubble bath had totally relaxed you to the point that you were quickly nodding off. Without further prolonging the agony of trying to keep your eyes open, you closed the book and settled in among the fresh sheets and warm blanket and comforter of our bed. Within moments, you were in a deep, REM sleep, no doubt dreaming but so soundly asleep there was no way you would remember what the dreams were about! Shortly thereafter, I arrived home, glanced at the bed and saw you sleeping peacefully. Quietly, I slipped out of my clothes and jumped into the shower for a quick scrub before retiring for the night. I was thinking of you the whole time and the effect on "me" was apparent – oh was it ever! Like you, however, I was not inclined to do anything about that "problem" without you. So, feeling quite unfulfilled, but with great desire, I ended my shower and toweled off with another of the big fluffy towels that you had left lying out for me. I wanted you so badly; yet, as I approached the bed and saw how peacefully you were sleeping, I didn't have the heart to wake you. I crawled into bed next to you and snuggled up as closely as I could without disturbing you too much. Of course, lying there next to you in such proximity to your fragrant, freshly-bathed, soft, smooth, shapely, feminine body didn't help at all with my "problem"! I closeed my eyes and tried to will myself to sleep.Nothing worked! My hunger for you was too great. Yet, I couldn't bear to wake you up! So, I decided to, ever-so-gently, unbutton the delicate buttons holding the front of your gown closed and slipped my hand inside to cup a firm, warm breast. Soon I was sliding the gown off your shoulders and down your arms, eventually managing to remove it with hardly a twitch out of you, so sound was the sleep you were enjoying. Now, skin to skin, I pressed my body into yours. Lying behind you, my hard member was nestled against the firm globes of that sexy bottom of yours. My arms were wrapped around you, one hand fondling a breast, the other finding its way to the smooth, freshly shaved triangle between your legs. For your part, you were in that deep twilight zone at this point –- not awake, but not fully asleep either. It was more of a dream state for you. You were so out of it, you didn't know if the sensations you were feeling were real or just the product of memories of sweet, satisfying lovemaking coming back to you in a dream.I was kissing your neck, nibbling at an earlobe. You moaned softly and let out a deep sigh. I gently rolled you onto your back. My hands continued to caress, probe, explore. Your body was beginning to respond to my touches. Your hips gently rolled as my fingers found their mark. Your legs parted slowly, automatically, affording me easier access to your most intimate parts. You were wet. I was hard and throbbing, aching to be inside you. I carefully positioned myself above you, the head of my manhood at the precipice of your womanhood. I nudged forward, parting the soft, swollen lips. You moaned perceptibly as I entered you. I felt your warm, wet, tightness gripping me. Your inner muscles squeezed and stimulated my sinewy member. I stretched you to the depths of your being, as your body made room to accommodate all of me. We began to rock and thrust and counter-thrust in rhythm. Your legs opened widely to take me all in. I pressed my chest against yours, feeling the burning points of your hard nipples through the hair on my chest. I locked my arms under your shoulders, lifting you up and tight against me. We made deep, passionate love for what seemed like hours but was probably only minutes in reality. You responded to my every movement and me to each of yours. You were moaning softly and whimpering with pleasure. I felt your inner muscles begin to tighten and relax in turn. Your body began to shudder -- mildly at first, then more convulsively. You let out a final gasp of ecstasy and your body relaxed just as I exploded deep inside of you.I continued to slide in and out of you for a few more moments, until I was totally drained and my manhood began to shrink inside of you. I withdrew and kissed your angelic cheek. You smiled reflexively and gradually resumed your deep, slow breathing. You snuggled up next to me and slept the deep sleep of a woman totally fulfilled -- without ever once completely waking up from your "twilight sleep"! I cradled you in my arms and felt your head as it rested on my chest. I contentedly joined you in restful slumber -- totally satiated and fulfilled… (image placeholder)

Rob  

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The memory of that night is still fresh. Can it really have been five years ago? The records of the mission are classified, but they can't classify our memories, can they? Well, they can, but you microchipped us both so as to be resistant to that sort of thing. The hot desert air, the cold nights... the improvised death ray you made from the old jeep and an MP3 player... I'll never forget them. Just as I'll never forget how much the world owes a down-on-his-luck ex-mercenary and a bored housewife from Utah.And they'll never know close they came to the end, or all that you gave up to save them.

Chris

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What a surprise! It's been 11 years I guess, but I still remember those lazy Sundays. I'd walk over to your loft and we would do the New York Times crossword together over steaming mugs of Earl Gray. Then play chess until we were starved. Those tofu stuffed crepes were delicious! We'd top off the day watching 60 Minutes before I had to leave.Wild times!!!All the best.

K.

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well, fuck i had this whole trip down memory lane to post and then i read rob's and damn...but remember the time we hiked thru the woods to that hidden lake and we tossed our clothes off onto the bank and went skinny dipping as the sun was setting just over the mountains? after the splash war was over - and i still say i won - we climbed back into our clothes chilled and we followed the smell of campfire where much to our delight we found a group of young men who were traveling on a fishing trip. they were all so sweet to share their catches with us... and after a few songs by the campfire and a few more beers, they were all too happy to share their sleeping bags with us as well... seems we both didn't sleep a wink that night... tent walls don't hide much now do they? how many young men were there? (image placeholder)enough

Simply Satisfied

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Lisa, I was once so mad at you for breaking up with my best friend in college that I almost called your tight assed parents to tell them about your drug habit. Yea, it was only a little reefer, one weekend at the state park. But I was going to ham it up real good. I was going to describe how you got stoned every day after class and how worried I was that you might fail your classes. I mean it really burned me how you dumped Ron for that pansy-assed kid from New England. The one with the money and the Audi. My girlfriend, Gwen, thought you were a bitch about the break-up too. Well, we didn't do it. We were the ones who trashed that Audi.

Wilde_thought

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How are you feeling after our mammiotransjugoplasty? I feel so honored to have been part of the very first rack transfer proceedure. And with you of all people, considering what we have been through, I never thought you would have called me! We are such pioneers! Matt Lauer called me about the segment we are on next Thursday. We can share the Limo, I'll just get up a little early since they'll have to swing by Utah on the way to the studio. I can't wait to see you again. And see them!My left one still has that flourescent discharge but Crunchy assured me that I could bottle it and sell it on ebay. So it's fun to see my rack up on your site. You wear them so much better than I ever could. I finally just had the third one removed completely. Now I can wear that tube top you gave me. See you soon. What are you wearing for the show?

Lamburger

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"Welcome to the Woods"Lisa groggily reached for the alarm clock. What the hell was it doing interrupting her peaceful sleep? Her arms fumbled as they knocked against the lamp, the tissue box, the TV. remote, and finally the wooden box from hell which was screeching its bells and whistles into her delicate ears. Wishing the world wasn't so cruel, she felt the snooze button and punched it desperately mumbling,"Son of a bitch."She started to pull the covers over her head but as she did so she took a deep breath and was overcome by the rich fragrance of her cedar logged bedroom. It was fresh enough to tickle her spirit out of its dream as it was taunted into another fantasy of absolute peace.But as she blinked open her eyes against the sun's parted rays from her double-door exit to a lower level porch, Lisa found herself in the reality of a comfy, little cabin bedroom. "Holy shit?" Her brows furrowing while she questioned herself, she tucked the cotton comforter closely under her chin for emotional security.Her eyes wandered from the abstracted, natural wooden banister of the steps that lead up to the first floor, to the cedar blinds that were battling the sun's persistency to invade her bedroom, to the big cherry chest sitting against the wall opposite of her, and eventually to the door of her adjacent bathroom.The weight of her bladder pushed against her tummy as she clenched the sheets with her manicured fingers. When the hell did she get a manicure? Confused to that mystery, the wooden box from hell erupted into a new fit of screams as the sleep timer wore down. She picked it up, fumbling with it, cursing as she flipped it over and over again, until she found the off switch hidden on its side. Her legs wearily slid out from her white sheets as her toes touched a morning-cooled carpeted floor. Her hands met her mouth to suppress a deep yawn. She pushed her feet forward, testing the temperature of the carpet between her toes before deciding it was adequate enough to pull back the rest of her covers and stand up. Her right foot limped on its way to the cedar door. Was everything wood? She paused and looked back over her shoulder. Yes, it was. But it was gorgeous and smelled like Heaven’s mercy. Her foot came back to life as the white tiled floor of the bathroom sent a shiver up her legs. She quickened her steps towards the bathroom rugs and hopped from one red rug to another, until she reached the one sitting at the toilet’s base. Jesus, even the toilet’s lid and seat was wooden. She lifted it and peering down at the blue water in the bowl said to herself, “Wooden seat. Blue water. This is going to be a new fucking experience.” She sarcastically commented to no one in particular.She sat down and tenderly relieved herself just in case if any of the water had mutant aliens in it and tried to splash back up at her. She yawned again as she slid open a French, bending, mini-blinded door to her right out of pure curiosity. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just a water heater, though she did almost fall off the toilet as she leaned to look up at the closet’s ceiling and consequently the floorboards of the first floor.“That’s interesting…” She remarked. “Now, where the hell’s the toilet paper.”It was sitting awkwardly to the right of the closet’s doors and behind the toilet. She had to stretch her right arm to reach it, “God dammit. I just want to take a crap; not exercise!” And as she looked to down to clean herself, she paused, her eyes widening When the hell did she get a brazillian wax? And did she remember if it hurt like hell?She wiped, flushed, pulled her panties back up, and readjusted her old-woman nightgown which she must’ve borrowed because the pattern on it was a little bold for her tastes. Her hands found the silver faucet as she scrubbed and looked into the mirror. When the hell did she get brown highlights? And what the fuck happened to all her mad-woman curls?Something in the universe was seriously off kilter. So she balanced against the marbled white counter and forced herself out of her morning stupor in order to rethink her steps from yesterday. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Cha-ching!“Oh, yea.” She said, shaking her head, and smiling embarrassingly to the mirror.Lisa had rented a cabin in the mountains of Blue Ridge, Georgia. She had needed some alone time. To abandon the necessities required of her motherhood, and to focus on her writing. She was a career novelist. And by dammit, sometimes a woman needed some fresh inspiration and alone time. What better way to do it than in the open mountains, surrounded by soft blue mountains on a silver horizon? She finished washing her hands and walked back to the double doors of her basement bedroom and stepped out into the wild forest of the Georgia mountains, just feet away from the boarded porch. She closed the doors behind her and sat down on the porch swing, testing it first. When it urged itself under her tired buttocks, she gave in to its embrace as she slid back into its finished grooves that cradled every aching bone in her back. She pushed herself with her bare feet against the boarded porch and stared out into a gift straight from God while the swing’s grooves continued to massage her body.Pine and cedar wafted at her nose, leading her into the forest and further to the purple sky, bleeding roses and carnations from the sun’s awakening. She traced the horizon as it blued into a mass of tall silver mountains. Where the hell did she find this place? It was gorgeous.The spell of the mountains broke as the gravel from the road above her crunched under the wheels of a car. The engine cut off, a door slammed, and a sing-songy voice called out, “Y’all awake yet? Y’all better be when I get to that door! We gots a busy day ahead of us!”Oh, fuck. Lisa clenched her ugly nightie and pushed her feet into the porch’s boards to halt the swing. She had forgotten all about the realtor.

Cadence  

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You won't remember that time back in High School, on the bus riding to school. I'd seen you around, but you were way out of my league.That day you dropped a book and I picked it up. You smiled and said "Thanks!", I just went red. Nobody noticed thank god.
Godzilla


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There was that time we read the fiction we each wrote for a university project. Maybe we should actually trade comments on it next time, helps the constructive critisism process. Anyway, I like your journalistic style, it's good to check up on it occasionally, let's me know how my own is coming along. Maybe if I take a leaf from your book I might actually pass my degree next time.

Disaster  

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Anyway, I'm the mom who gave your boys the bandaids at the park last week. It was so funny, because the one (I can't remember his name --sorry) fell and scraped his elbow and they both started crying and clutching thier elbows. You only had 1 bandaid in your bag, and the one without a scrape insisted that he needed a bandaid on his elbow too...so I gave you 2 matching Incredibles bandaids (which luckily I had just bought...ususlly I am bandage-less)Hope they had a better afternoon after that!Monica

Monica  

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I hated to leave you Tuesday night. It's the only solace I have right now. Your husband was away, and so was mine, so we met at the bus depot like we usually do on these occasions when we're both "single for the night". We huddled in a small booth in the diner and wrap ourselves around a cup of bad coffee, fantasizing about buying a bus ticket to nowhere one of these days and getting the hell out of here, together. It's too Thelma & Louise for words, and we can't help but quote from the movie often.How did we slip into this sexless intimacy - you a married mother, and me, a married gay? You slipped off your shoe under the table and hooked your foot around my ankle. I commented that your tits looked fabulous on this Braless Tuesday. The night lay around us quietly. Looking at your watch, you jumped and muttered something about the babysitter. As we gathered up our winter gear, I had to choke back my urge to grab your hand and run to the ticket kiosk - just pick a place, any place, let's go. Instead, I pulled my scarf around my neck a little tighter.We walked outside and the night and bitterness enveloped us. I could still feel your foot wrapped around my ankle as I climbed into my car. Sitting alone in the frozen silence for a few moments, I kept thinking... let's just drive... let's just keep going...

Mark  

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Lis,Remember thursday mornings? We'd talk about wed hump nites...Fun days...Steamin cuppa hot coffee, Krispy Kreme original glazed donut and conversations that would put a mens' locker room to shame (image placeholder)Noojes

Noojes

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What a great idea! To have your friends share their most memorable times with you. It's a much better idea than the one you had last year when you thought it would be fun to hitchhike to New York to see the ball drop in Times Square. I admit the room was nice, and the drinks were plentiful, but getting back home was a nightmare. I'm sorry I left you behind, truly I am. But after realizing I had no idea what day it was, and how long we had been there, I panicked. Glad to see you are ok.

Me  

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I can remember that one time. You know that one time? The one time we took that trip to Amsterdam. Or should I say... "tripped" in Amsterdam. They had some good shit there eh? And then we came back to the States and tried to get everyone we knew to sign that petition to legalize that shit? We ended up with 3,008 signiatures... I'm sure we could have gotten more if we went out of the city... Haha

Peggy

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Well, there's so much to catch up on since it's been a month, I think since we've visited. The last time we got together for coffee, antiquing, dinner, and more coffee was one of the best days I've had in a long time. May be boring compared to the spicy memories others have offered, but sitting with a friend, chatting as though you've lived five lifetimes together...can't beat it.

Kathie  

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It always come back to the story of how we met, doesn't it? I'm running a bit late which always puts me on edge. The cab pulls up and I think, "Ha! I made it just in the nick of time", as you slide your way in."Slide over sweetie", giving you a slight nudge as I slip in right after you. I rattle off the address to the driver as he dives us into city traffic and we speed off. I hear disgruntled breath sounds -- clearly you are upset and are left with a tied tongue. Thinking how dumb of me to myself, I slip my arm around you and turn towards you."I'm sorry love, how was your day" quickly came off my lips as I leaned in and gave you a smooch. My fingers running through your hair felt the same, but your lips -- something just wasn't quite the same. As my eyes opened and I pulled away your voice made my heart stop."My day?", you said softly, "Well, at the moment I am in a taxi going to god knows where with a guy I don't know who just kissed me."There was an awkward second of silence that seemed like hours, before you continued."All in all, it has been a pretty good day. How's it been for you?"I began to stammer. So many similarities, yet so many differences. It sank in slowly, starting at the eyes and easing its way through my body."You're not....uhhh, you're not...""No. I'm not.", you responded."Wow.", I exclaimed, "I rushed here to meet an incredibly beautiful woman and despite getting in a cab with the wrong woman, I still did. I think I need to buy a lotto ticket now".I could be wrong, but I thought I saw you begin to blush. "Join us for dinner.... please", I asked. Despite the awkward circumstances you accepted and a friendship (and private crush) was born.I didn't win the lottery that night, life was much better and has been even more rewarding since.

Me  

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Okay. I'm sorry. I was really blitzed that day you asked me. The sun, I think, was closer to the earth that day than it ever was, or ever has been, so I didn't really feel like answering you. In fact, I didn't feel like even looking up. It was all that heat, all that damn heat.So, okay, I'm sorry. I'll answer your question now:It's a portrait of the Painted Desert, a lone wagon listing in the foreground. The portrait is still hanging up in that antique shop. You remember. The shop with the rusty old lady who hissed at us as I curled up in the rocking chair and closed my eyes. Go take a look at that painting. It will jar you, just like it did when you first saw it. And, then, feel behind it. That's where I left the photo.
Elliot  


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The time you came to see my show up in freeze your ass off Akureyri. You waited backstage for me, leaning against the door and smiling, surprised when I kissed you, we stayed up late in the hotel bar and you almost missed your flight back south. I felt so alone when I heard the airplaine tear through the chilly sunday morning. Did you buy that woolen sweater you saw in Reykjavík?

Olafur Egillson